Understanding Teen Dating Violence

Content Warning: The following material includes references to teen dating violence. It may be distressing to some readers. Please take care of yourself and engage only if you feel ready.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month and it focuses on highlighting the unique challenges youth face with intimate partner violence.  This type of violence occurs between two people in a romantic relationship and can be sexual, physical, or emotional. It can occur in person or electronically by texting or posting threatening messages or images on social media. Teen sexual assault can occur as part of dating violence, but can also happen outside of a romantic relationship with a friend, classmate, acquaintance, or a stranger.  Experiencing violence in youth can have long-lasting impacts on mental and emotional health, making it all the more critical to prevent violence before it occurs. 

According to a study conducted by the CDC in 2024, over 70% of women and over 60% of men reported first experiencing intimate partner violence under the age of 25.  Other ongoing studies have found that one in four teen girls felt verbally or physically pressured into having sex during the past year, while one in ten high school girls, and one in 20 high school boys, reported being forced into sex.  In general, more than one third of acquaintance rape victims are between the ages of 14 and 17.  The consequences of experiencing teen dating violence can include increased anxiety, depression, aggression, use of drugs or other substances, and thoughts of suicide or self-harm.  An increase in any of these areas can be a signal from your teen that they need further support. 
Other warning signs to be on the lookout for are behaviors coming from your teens partner.  If your teen’s partner displays excessive jealousy or insecurity, or is constantly monitoring your teen’s whereabouts, that is a major red flag.  If you notice your teen is more withdrawn from their friends and family because their partner is demanding their time and attention and trying to control your teen's activities, they may be in an unhealthy relationship.  Talking to your teen about dating violence and unhealthy relationships is an important step in protecting them from dating violence. 
As a parent, it can feel overwhelming to figure out where to start the conversation on dating violence, especially as your teens are focused on growing their independence and establishing who they are.  One of the best ways to help teens is to teach them about consent early.  Teaching your teen how to set boundaries and establish the limits they want to set in their relationships is powerful.  Teens learn about relationships from those around them, so it is important to model healthy relationships and ask for consent while in person and online.   Modeling and teaching about a healthy relationship requires open communication, safety, trust, and respect. 

When talking to your teen about dating violence, it’s important to have an open line of communication.  Teenagers take cues on relationships from their surrounding environment, including the media they engage in.  Having open, positive lines of communication gives your teen the space to talk about what they see, and challenge unhealthy examples they may be exposed to.  It also provides them with a safe space to process their own relationships and questions.  If you suspect your teen is in an unhealthy or violent relationship, talking to them privately is critical.  Teens are sensitive to how others see them and may be embarrassed about their situation or overwhelmed to have this conversation publicly.  Above all, don’t be afraid to discuss uncomfortable topics with your teen.  It can be uncomfortable to bring up dating and sex at first, but it is incredibly important to broach these subjects if you think something is wrong.  Your teen is developing habits and expectations that they will carry with them into adulthood, talking to them about healthy relationships and expectations now will ensure they go into their future with confidence. 

​It’s just as important to understand your teen’s relationship as it is to talk to them about healthy relationships in general.  Teens are in a stage of growth and development, that often comes with exploring their identities and preferences.  If your teen is in a relationship, make it a point to ask about your teen’s partner.  Investing in their relationship and encouraging your teen to talk to you about their partner provides them the safety and security to come to you if they have concerns.  The better you understand your teen’s relationship and their partner, the better you will also be able to evaluate the relationship.  Once you have a baseline for how their relationships operate, the more evident negative changes may be. 

If your teen has experienced dating violence, or would like extra support to navigate challenges, dedicated and knowledgeable therapists at Thrive services are available to help.  Thrive provides professional mental health support and resources designed to meet individuals and families where they are.  Our trauma trained therapists are available to help you and your family navigate the challenges that come from experiencing dating violence and provide support for you and your teen.

Click here for more information about Thrive services, or to request an appointment.

If you or someone you know is experiencing violence, please call 911 or contact the following resources:  

• ​National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1- 800-799-7233
• Washtenaw County Crisis line: 734-544-3050